The Beginning of My Oklahoma Adventure :)

Well I made it!

The drive was long.

The tears were many.

And my excitement level is on OVERLOAD!

Never in my life did I expect to move so far away from home.

And now

I know why....

First off

I miss my dear mothers cooking like a chubby kid misses cake!

I miss snuggling into Connors chubby little cheeks each day

I miss hearing Olivia laugh.

and Tyler cry.

I miss getting pushed around by all my LITTLE brothers.

I miss the mountains.

The dry heat.

and even Dad bugging me to go out and practice.

I miss it all!

The good and the bad

And Ive cried

SO many tears its a joke.

BUT GUESS WHAT?!?!?!

I love it here :)

My house is the cutest little thing!

My roommates/teammates

are AMAZING!

My coach

well he's a little crazy

But so is my Dad ;)

and i LOVE IT!

Sometimes I wonder why I am here.

Why I decided to come to this TINSY little town in Oklahoma...

But i do know I'm here for a reason.

Ive already learned SO MUCH in the short time that I have been here.

And I know I will only continue to learn more.

It's hard

being so far away from home.

and sometimes I just wanna pack up my bags and go back!

But each time I fall to my knees

a loving father in heaven so gently and tenderly

wraps his arms around me

and reminds me that I have a purpose here!

One that cannot be fulfilled at home.

I look forward to the future with excitement and hope

I cannot wait to see where this journey may take me

it's not going to be easy

But then again good things never are.

And that is why we live :)

To open our minds and hearts to new possibilities

new adventures

To go through out each and everyday

living each moment the best way possible.

Knowing that never are we perfect

never are we alone

and never, ever will our Father in Heaven leave us.

I know I'm on a new path

one that he has lead me to

and one that he will walk down with me.

And I will forever love him for that.

Love, Selu Marie xoxo

TiMe.

It's time.

Time to say goodbyes.

Time for tears.

Tears of Sadness and Love.

Tears that do not seem to stop.

As I crawled into my bed last night

my 4 yr old little brothers hands curled up around my face

He squeezed my cheeks

and sighed.

I love you SeWo

he says.

And the tears began to flow.

Reality has sunk in

and the bitter-sweet feeling of starting a new adventure

tugs at my heart strings with every beat.

Nervous.

Excited.

Scared.

Sad.

Thankful.

Thankful for the most wonderful Family in the WORLD!

The People who brighten my days

and make the darknes all go away.

I don't know what I will ever do without them

or how I will survive...

But somehow

I will.

Over the years I've realized

what matters.

where I feel at peace.

and who will never stop caring.

I know this new adventure

will provide me with opportunites I cannot even fathom.

That The Lord has heard my every prayer and pleading

and answered me, in the most sincere way...

It will be hard to say goodbye,

But It IS the start to a New Adventure

And I know it's where I am supposed to be.

Much Love,

xoxo

Im late. Im late. For a very important date!

Daddy.
I don't even know where to begin....
how do i even start?

..............
Happy Happy Fathers Day!
a few days late ;)
but it wouldn't be like me if it were on time, would it?

You mean more than the world to me
and truly I owe all that I am to you and my mother.

Ever since I was a little girl you have been there
at my side.
Guiding me and loving me
all along the way.

Never will I know
just why I am so lucky to have you as my father.
I guess God knew I would need all the help I could get
and that only the BEST would do.

And i thank him.
Each and everyday i thank him
from the bottom of my heart
and with every piece of my soul.

I thank him for
Your strength.
Your courage.
Your heart.
and Your eyes.

For in those eyes I have found my own strength.
Strength to go on.
Strength to overcome.
And strength to never ever give up.

Through you I have seen who I want to be
and who I strive to become.

Thank you for loving me beyond reason.
For guiding me down a path
that not many would take.
For putting up with my tears and tantrums.
And for letting me think I knew it all.....
For teaching me how to serve.
Showing me how to love.
And giving me all that i have.

You are my Hero
and always will be.

I love you more than you will ever know Dad
and I will forever be
Your Little Girl!

xoxo
Selu

A Happy be-lated Birthday Wish for YOU!

My Dearest Grandma
your precious smile has lingered in my head all day.

And I felt like a little girl again,
sitting,
closing my eyes,
and wishing for something with all my heart....

I wished that somehow
I could open my eyes
and your house would magically appear before me.
I wished I could bake you a cake
and hum you a birthday tune.
I wished I could cuddle up in your bed with you
and watch a scary movie.
Go for a walk along our favorite spots at the beach
and just be us :)

BUT
SuRpRiSe
it didn't work.

So
I laughed at myself
and figured a skype call and blog post would have to suffice.

Ever since I was a little girl
I knew you were
SPECIAL.
Someone I would love forever and ever.
and someone that would love me in return.

Throughout the years
your love has never faltered
your smile, never faded
your strength, never wavered
and your example
has never stopped shining.

Life has not been easy.
Trials and hardship have come.

But Oh how very blessed I feel
when I think of the love and compassion
my Father in heaven has sent me.
By sending me to you.

The memories
the smiles
the laughter
the tears
The moments of pure and ever lasting joy.
Joy that will stick with me throughout eternity.

Thank You for raising my mother.
For teaching her to love
and giving her strength beyond her own.

Thank You for raising my Aunt Kerstin.
For raising her to be
the wonderful and amazing woman that she is today.

Thank You for accepting my Father as your son.
For loving him beyond doubt
and never failing to show it.

Thank You for loving my Grandpa Jack
and showing me what it means to love
FOREVER and EVER.

Grandma
Thank you for your stories.
Your magic and your memories!

I hope your birthday was filled with Love
and that all your wishes come true :)

I love you more than anything in the world!
xoxoxo

Love Forever and Always,
Your Angel Girl
Selu

Here & Now

Sometimes
I feel lost.
Where am I going?
What am I doing?
and mostly
HOW?


But Tonight
I was reminded of something.

Something simple
yet something so sweet
it will truly last FOREVER......

I'm on a road.
One that I do not know.
Yet one that has been walked down before.

I do not have to pave the path
or even walk down it alone.

I've been given
guardian angels
all along the way.

Some are near
and some are far.

Some on earth
and some above.

But the one who knows me most of all.....
is right here
by my side.

And always will be.


All I have to do is look.

I hope you will too!

xoxo
Me

oh So VERY proud!

Sometimes

I feel like I'm your mother!

and i know it bugs the crap outta you.

But it's ok :)

because someday

you'll name your oldest daughter after me!

Sometimes

I tell you what to do.

OK maybe alot of times....

But I have only ever wanted the best for you.

Sometimes

I wish we were still little kids.

Who made mud pies, and sailed ships in our backyard.

Sometimes

I wish I could turn back time

and spend more of it with you.

Erase all of the fights we had, and been the bigger person.

Sometimes

I can hit the golf ball further than you.

But then I wake up from my dreams ;)

Sometimes

I wish you were coming to Oklahoma with me.

To be my big, big brother

and my body guard!

To beat up all the bullies

and to be my bestest friend....

Sometimes

I wish we could skip a few years

and we wouldn't have to part...

I am so very proud of you.

More than you will ever know.

You are not perfect

as none of us are.

But to me you have been more!

You've shown me how to live a life

of love and laughter

family and friends

priority and passion.

I do not know what ever i will do

without my best friend.

Who will make me laugh

and cry?

Who will help me move my bed?

Who will bring me water late at night?

and who will beat me up?

BUT

i do know this.

I know that you have things do.

That Heavenly Father has a plan,

He needs the strongest of the strong

and that my brother

is

YOU!

I love you so very much Garrett

and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you!

xoxo

forever and always

Selu

i.me.moi.

So today I pondered ME.

and here are some of the things I came up with:

I AM.... smiling :)

I THINK.... i am pretty much the LUCKIEST girl in the world!

I KNOW.... everything happens for a reason...

even though some things are hard to understand at the moment.

I WANT.... friends and family always close by.

I HAVE.... the most wonderful family EVER!

I MISS.... my Aunt Kerstin, Uncle Mike,

Jack, Kolby, and Kenz every single day....

I HEAR.... laughter.

I SMELL.... spring :)

I CRY.... when i think about leaving Home soon....

I CRAVE.... cafe rio salads!

I SEARCH.... for new dreams DAILY. It's pretty much an obsession!

I WONDER.... where I will be 10 and 20 years from now.

I REGRET.... being so stubborn ;)

I WISH.... I could sit on the beach ALL DAY long!

I LOVE.... spring rain storms :) they've gotta be a piece of heaven.

I CARE.... about birdies, pars, and bogeys.

I ALWAYS.... think about the future.

I WORRY.... about my siblings on a daily basis.

I AM NOT.... ready to grow old.

I REMEMBER.... being a little girl :) like it were yesterday....

I BELIEVE.... miracles happen on a daily basis.

It's just a matter of truly opening your eyes to find them.

I SING.... all the time! Horribly, so I'm told.

I AM NOT ALWAYS.... on time.

fashionably late is my middle name.

I ARGUE.... with My Dad :) more than anyone.

my mother says its because I am exactly like him!

which I pretend to disagree with, but secretly LOVE.

I WRITE.... what I think.

I LOSE.... my phone, keys, and wallet ALL THE TIME.

I LISTEN.... to music constantly!

I DON"T UNDERSTAND.... death.

But I've come to conclude that someday, I will.

I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND.... on the golf course

laughing with my brothers.

I NEED.... a vacation :) to Hawaii preferably!

I FORGET.... all the time. Definitely something I need to work on.

I AM HAPPY.... with ME!

I am not perfect

in any way.

I do not have all the money in the world.

I BaReLy graduated from High School.

I eat almost a fourth of the batter when I bake cakes or brownies.

(SHHHH don't tell!)

I dream about being FILTHY RICH :)

and the many things I would do if I were.

I sing way too loud in the shower.

And I am late to church ALOT.

Sometimes my clothes don't match my shoes.

And more often than not

my jeans are a LiTtLe bit too tight!

BUT

I AM HAPPY!

And I wouldn't ask for any other life.

I have a family who loves me

on earth and in heaven.

And to me....

that is all anyone needs.

xoxo

SeLu MaRie

To you Mother. My dearest friend.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

Mothers Day

to each and every

mother

grandmother

future mother

and sister

(yes Sister! because more often than not i feel like my siblings mother)

I am so VERY lucky to have

the dearest and kindest

Mother IN THE WORLD!

As I'm sure all mothers may attest

raising children is anything but an easy task.

And to raise 12

is something not many could do.

Words can not even begin to express what she means to me....

and i don't know what i would ever do without her.

As a little girl i never fully recognized the

AMAZING woman that she is...

and out of all her dozen

I know i have been the hardest to raise....

BUT

never once has she complained!

and if you know my mother

you know its true!

she never fails to see the good in people

and you will NEVER hear a rude comment from her mouth.

I know that no other woman on the face of this planet

could have handled

ME.

and probably wouldn't want to

But for some odd reason she agreed to put up with me :)

and i am forever grateful to her

for the Mother she has been, and continues to be to me.

Yes.

She is my mother.

But mother to me

means more than the woman who brought me into this world.

for me

Mother means......

monster exterminator.

ghost buster.

prom dress finder.

late night talks

about nothing really in particular.

mathematician.

scientist.

chef.

english professor.

singer.

song writer.

taxi driver.

coach.

costume designer.

seamstress.

consultant

(on anything and EVERYTHING)

nurse.

doctor.

dancer.

cheerleader.

and the list could very well go on

FOREVER.

but mostly to Me

she is

my best friend.

No one in the world knows me like my mother.

Knows when i am hiding my tears.

Knows when I need to talk

and when i won't.

Knows my deepest and darkest fears

and how to make them all go away.

Knows where I have been and what I've been doing

without me even saying a word....

She laughs when I do.

Smiles when I smile :)

hurts when I am in pain

sheds tears over my sorrows

and Holds me close when I feel the world is crashing down.

Never in my life will I ever love someone more than I love my mother!

i live to see the joy in her smile

the light in her eyes

and the hope in her heart.

And I will forever be grateful to her for the life she has given me.

and the love she has shown....

Thank You Mom

for being the most wonderful mother

a little girl could ask for.

I only hope and pray

that someday I may come somewhat close to being

the mother that you have been to me.

I don't know what I will do without you when I leave home

But i do know that it will never be the same....

Thank you for loving me without fail

and never giving less than your whole heart.

You are my hero and always will be!

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!

Happy Mothers Day!

xoxo

SpRiNg. SpRiNg. SpRiNg!

Spring.

how i
LOVE
Spring!

I love...........


the colors :)
~

the flowers
~

the dresses
~

the warmth
...........

But even more so
Spring to me,
is a time of remembrance.
a time of reflection.
a time of love.

Love for a kind and ever so loving Savior, Jesus Christ
who walked along an ever so lonely path,
only so I would NEVER have to be alone.

Spring time for me
is almost like a new beginning.
A time to start over....
a time to ask myself what really matters.


Life is short.
Never do we know what tomorrow may bring.
Never do we know what a simple smile,
or bright hello
may mean to another!

So.....
Happy SPRING!

Don't forget to smile :)

much love,
selu
xoxo

GoodBye. my teenage self.

So.....
in approximately 24 hours i will no longer be a teenager.

And over the past few months i've thought about it
ALOT.

one day
i even
CRIED.

yes i know
pretty PaThETiC

But really who wants to get old and wrinkly!?
NOT ME!

BUTTTTT.......
the more i thought about it
the more Grateful i became.
the more,
hopeful.
excited.
and even anxious
for what the future may bring.

I do not know where I will be 20 years from now.
I do not know what i will look like
act like
or if i will even still be here.

But i do have hopes :)

Hopes that I can someday find my true love
my best friend
and
marry him FOR EVER and EVER.

Become a mother
and LOVE my children like i too have been loved.

Build a home
a sanctuary
for others to come to
when looking for a place of solace and strength

See the World
and the beautiful wonders God has blessed us with.

Serve the Lord with all that I have
and LOVE him with all my heart!

The last 20 years have been more than I ever imagined
loss.
heartache.
struggle.
questions.
answers.
love.
strength.
hope.
and power.
Each have found me,
and although I still have questions about
MANY
many
things
I do know this.....

as hard as i may try
20 more years will come
I will get old an wrinkly :(
times of hardship and trial will most likely come again.

BUT
I will FOREVER know the things i know now.

Christ
is
MY best friend!
He has found me at my lowest points
and carried me to where I now can stand.
He will never leave me.

FAMILY
has been and forever will be HERE.
at my side
all along the way.

and lastly
even if i do last 20 more years....
They will be WONDERFUL :)

and i will dance
and smile
All along the way!


so
in other words
BRING ON the next 20 years!

(just hold off on the wrinkles for now)